Merry Christmas Everyone!

As we gather with loved ones to celebrate this day -remember those passed, as well as their survivors in your prayers.  Be safe, be happy, and be blessed!

Mistakes Are A Fact Of Life

Who hasn't made them?
Nyima of Born To Return The Gift, and Michael of  End All To Be All share mistakes common in today's society, namely drug abuse.  Whether it's illicit and illegal, or doctor prescribed, addiction is the same.  Not all recover, but a common element is a cry for help from a Higher Power, and Faith/reliance when the cry is answered.  Check out these novels to see how recovery happens for two characters from different worlds who eventually meet. 

Change is Growth

  When I first self-published Born To Return The Gift I knew I was setting my work up for public critique/ridicule.  Admittedly, it wasn't easy to deal with, but I'm grateful for the reviews I received. 
It took a minute to recover, but I have.
  Hopefully, those who perceived promise of a 'gifted' writer (lol-flattered), will be respected for their insights and the encouragement they instilled.  Hopefully, those who perceived my effort at writing as a joke will take a second look to see they were too quick to be so judgemental.  And hopefully, those who know nothing of my efforts, will preview an excerpt to see if it's now enough to spark their interest.
  Months ago I wrote a post acknowledging (owning) errors of judgment in style, and the results inherent to self-publishers such as myself, who did not have eyes other than their own.  With the proliferation of self-publishing, some of us are committed to our work despite not having the benefit of professional editors.  I have grown.  Although my work has still not been professionally edited, I have taken painstaking steps to right the wrongs pointed out.  Excuse my lack of etiquette during the journey.  I have grown.
  Even though I said I wouldn't, I've changed the cover so there is no mistaking that the content is faith driven and not of the horror genre.  I apologize that some language, which is now censored with symbols, could not be changed because it is inherent to a supporting character's transormation and the protagonist's realization of how far she had come.
  I urge you to take a second look to see how change really evolves.  Although I am done with revising this work (it's still not perfect), please comment and let me know your thoughts so I may evolve to a higher level of understanding.  I'm certain that your insights will help me improve in writing my third novel.
  In an economic climate wrought with challenging changes, the inspired entrepreneurial spirit persists and survives.  The world is changing and I'm changing with it, but as a Christian I'm trying to do the best I can in a world hell bent on self/company promotion for sustaining our capitalistic society even though I believe the more we change, the more things stay the same. (According to the Bible, nothing is new.)
  My mission through Onyz Productions is to create media to Intrigue the mind, Prick the heart, and Incite the spirit.  Onyz is my created synonym for 'honest' and it's in a tower like (Confucius says...)   to depict On the Y Z generations that will have their place to come.  As teenagers (adolescents) we all have been there when we believed we knew everything, to eventually discover we know less than we knew then for real growth to begin. 
  I believe mistakes are inherent in life and will always bring one to their knees sooner or later.  And to those who have never experienced the lows, continue to be blessed with your high. If you are not committed to faith, may God bless you when you fall.

Born To Return The Gift
By jai

Born to Return the Gift Catherine E. Johnson has created a faith based, fictional novel that deals with very heavy issues in a very caring way. "Born to Return the Gift" follows the life of Nyima. As a young girl, Nyima has seen the outcome of addiction and bad choices, but unfortunately, her life follows the same pattern. She begins by choosing the wrong man, over and over. She is abused, put down and led to believe she is worth nothing. She drinks to avoid thinking about what has become of her life. She knows she wants more but can't seem to find it as her choices always seem to be the wrong ones. She attempts a major move to California, to start over, but the same issues arise and her depression grows. She can't break the cycle. She can't get her much needed fresh start. Nyima is a character that all readers can relate to. We have all made choices that have put us in positions we did not expect. Nyima's journey is hard. She is constantly struggling between the physical and spiritual. She knows that there is a higher being, and that she can lead a better life. She also knows that everyone has constantly put her down; her mother, her cousin and society. She is clinically depressed and just doesn't know how to get out of her situation so she can lead a better life. The author does a wonderful job showing this conflict and struggle. At 50, Nyima begins to make the change. This is a pivotal, inspiring moment. If Nyima can find the good in her life, shouldn't anyone be able to? The author delicately takes us through Nyima's transformation. Her strength coming from her spiritual beliefs. Her trust that someone does believe in her and that she can overcome her past. After so many years, she realizes that she can be who she wants to be, who she always wanted to be. This novel is uplifting and gives hope to those in similar situations. It is not always pretty, there are very harsh scenes and disturbing language. The author uses these scenes to show the change, the extreme turnaround. As harsh as those scenes are, the ones at the end are touching and inspiring. This author knows how to use language to emphasize her points and succeeds in creating a novel that will leave the reader with both points to ponder and a warm heart for Nyima.

Honoring Different Perceptions of Born To Return The Gift

After completely reading my debut novel again, in light of the constructive criticism received, the following revisions have been made to 'Born To Return The Gift.

I realize that my effort to project the racing thoughts of the protagonist through the third person pov, as if the condition was contagious, was evidently a mistake in judgment.  Punctuation has been added to change the pace.  The paragraphs of explicit sex have been eliminated to leave it to the reader's imagination, realizing for this piece of work, less is more.  Also, there are some areas which will be expanded upon briefly, or rewritten for clarification.

I sincerely thank each reviewer, (except one who said the book was a joke-lol), for their insightful comments.  Each has helped me improve on what I believe is definitely worthwhile reading. With the revised version I will now have others to acknowledge.

Considerable thought has been given to the idea of changing the cover, but I've decided to let it stand as is.  I understand that some may perceive the art to erroneously lead one to believe the book belongs in the horror genre, but it is definitely a faith based novel.  The abstract of God's hands reaching to restore hope to the woman who has been through the 'fire', and her nudity is a symbolization of total surrender to depict the baring of her soul. There is a demonic element in the story, but the protagonist had to be forced to acknowledge her dark side in order to appreciate the light. Light obliterates darkness and no matter how much knowledge we acquire through psychology, or any other science, NOTHING precludes the significance of God.

The revised book will be available in July. I hope many of you will consider giving it a read. For all those of you who will, I thank you for supporting my effort to demonstrate a facet of life and the pitfalls that face many of us in one way or another.

The Jungarian Psycology behind 'Born To Return The Gift'

"Life and sacrifice go together."
Defining moments:
 
"Creative life is the soul's food and water. Starvation of the soul - trapped - especially if you have the desire and drive to create - lured or pushed into too-small lives - leaving you hungry for something soulful. Self-preservation: ID leg traps, cages, and poisoned bait. Instinct - layer of psyche where biology and spirit might touch. Joy - Stretching ones best self - maybe gracefully, maybe not - but succeeding in creating something, the someone, the art, the battle, the moment - her life a woman's natural and instinctive state of being."

"A woman's creative and passionate nature is at risk if she cannot hold on to her sources of growth and joy. When women are relegated to moods, mannerisms and contour that conform to a single ideal of beauty and behavior, they are 'captured' in both body and soul and are no longer free."

"Creative instinct in particular is as much of lyrical language of the self as is the symbolization of dreams, learned helplessness influences women to stay with drunken mates the normalizing of the abnormal even when there is clear evidence that it is to one's own detriment to do so applies to all battering of the physical, emotional, creative, spiritual, and instinctive natures."

"When a woman has gone without her cycles or creative needs for long periods of time, she begins a rampage of you name it - alcohol, drugs, anger, spirituality, oppression of others, promiscuity, pregnancy, study, creation, control, education, orderliness, body fitness, junk food, to name a few areas of common excess.  When women do this, they are compensating for the loss of regular cycles of self-expression, soul-expression, and soul-satiation. Without a firm participation with the wild nature, a woman starves and falls into an obsession of  'feel betters', 'leave me alones', and 'love me please'. It's a famine of the soul that makes a woman choose things that are destructive and life threatening - hideously wasting her time and talents, or exposes her life to physical and psychological danger.

"The starving woman edures famine after famine. She may plan her escape, yet believe that the cost of fleeing is too high - too much libido, too much energy, and she may be ill-prepared educationally, economically, spiritually - loss of treasure (soul/self) and deep memory of famine may cause us to rationalize that excesses are desirable. Such relief and a pleasure to be able to enjoy sensation - any sensation - that is the trouble with famine. A woman in such a condition has inadvertently entered into the oven along with her handmade life. Her life becomes ashes."

"The vision a woman has for her own life can be decimated in the flames of someone else's jealousy or someone's plain-out destructiveness toward her.  Family, mentors, teachers, and friends are not suppose to be destructive if and when they feel envy, but some decidedly are, in both subtle and not so subtle ways. It is worse to stay where one does not belong at all than to wander about lost for a while and looking for the psychic and soulful kinship. It is never a mistake to search for what one requires. Surviving adversity - special and valuable wisdom. Don't waste time hating failure. Failure is a greater teacher than success. Listen, learn, and go on. Hitting bottom - while extremely painful - is also the sowing ground."

"Where there is injury, the soul flees. A long time must pass before such a soul will trust enough to return. The retrieval requires several ingredients - naked honesty, stamina, tenderness, sweetness, ventilation of rage and humor. Combined, these make a song that calls the soul back home. Survivorship leads to healing and thriving. We're limited in energy and power by remaining merely a survivor. Instead of the focus being on surviving, it should become a badge of honor and the focus put on healing so that one can thrive."

"Listen to the wild voice - the one that whispers, 'Stay here long enough to revive your hope, to drop your terminal cool, to give up defensive half-truths, to creep, carve, bash your way through, stay here long enough to make the finish line, it matters not how long it takes or in what style. There is something useful in this torque and tension.  Effect is similar to pure natural carbon under pressure producing diamonds - it leads eventually to a profound magnitude and clarity of psyche."

Although not sequential in the order of most excerpts, the content cited was taken from the book, 'Women Who Run With The Wolves', by Dr. Clarrissa Pinkola Estes. Undoubtedly, this book has had an indelible impact on the writing of 'Born To Return The Gift.'

Don Cornelius - Gone But Never Forgotten

Don Cornelius, as we all know, was a visionary who left an indelible mark in the history of entertainment.  Not only did he give African Americans a cultural face during a pivotal time when we were grossly overlooked in mainstream broadcasting, he created a forum where countless artists (Black & White) were able to showcase their talent to the world.

I was a young mother when Soul Train first aired and like many others it gave me an opportunity to connect and release while dancing to the newest, hippest music on my own private dance floor.  Like everyone else I not only learned new dances, I found myself creating signature moves as I imagined having my turn to strut my stuff on the line.  I will never forget the joy of that total experience.

It's so sad that a man of his caliber felt it was time to bow out of life.  Like everyone else, I don't know what his frame of mind was at the time to lead him to such a fatal decision, but we all need to be mindful that sometimes we take it for granted that others know how much they are appreciated and fail to give them all the accolades they deserve while they are still living. 

Much love and deep heartfelt condolences go out to his surviving family.  Gone but never forgotten - Love, Soul & Peace to Don Cornelius! R. I. P.

Free Download

For a limited time, the Kindle version of 'Born To Return The Gift' and 'End All To Be All' will be available for free.  If you do download and read it, please write a review on Amazon. Thanks!

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